A Fresh Start

Well, how has your first week of school gone?  It’s so neat to hear from so many of you on Facebook at our new page, “Maple Tree Publications”, and to see your excitement over new books, new routines, new lessons.  September is a clean slate, a new start.  I have even heard from some of you who homeschool throughout the year and still there is that air of turning over a new leaf.
 

So, I decided that we had to participate in the fervor and to take pictures so I could post pictures of the shining faces of my little cherubs.  My kids had to search for the number of their grade while we walked idyllically around the Toronto Zoo on our first day of school.  We only found a number one.  We saw the gorillas and panda bears and also saw the komodo dragon being fed and talked to the zoo keeper because no one else was there to chat with her.  We took a fun first day of school picture on the bronze statue of the komodo dragons.   It was the continuing of a tradition started a dozen years ago: if we are going to do this education thing differently, we will do it different from the start and always take a field trip on the first day of school.  All in all we had a great day. 

The drive home was quite peaceful despite the city traffic we had to drive through.  Dinner and the evening were just fine.  Then 1 am rolled around.

My head had finally just hit the pillow after staying up late to make sure I was ready for the next morning and almost simultaneously two girls stumbled bleary eyed out of their bedrooms, a bit of panic in their steps...  Sick!  It was a long night.  Our hopes of a positive start on Wednesday were dashed.  No back to normal then or Thursday.  Sigh!

I get overwhelmed at times, wishing things went better, that I was a better teacher, more organized, less impatient, less irritable, wanting to deal with kids who were always enthusiastic, who listen the first time, who don’t leave wet towels on the floor in their rooms until they stink.  Sigh.  My plans just don’t always work.  I feel like I am failing my kids.  But then when I step back and look at things with far - sighted glasses I see how far we have come and I also see so much that we have to look forward to.  It’s then that I am reminded that it isn't worth getting worried about the daily grind.  There is always time for a fresh start. 

So tomorrow, we will try again for the anticipated gentle startup that we had hoped for. I think it's going to take us a few weeks at this rate to settle in. I had hoped we would be off and running by the end of this week or at least by early next.  Sigh! One of my sickies did perk up and voluntarily did two of her math lessons this evening. Hopefully it's a sign of good things to come.

I am realizing that our real lessons are learned when the going gets tough, not so much when we get to see the Komodo Dragon keeper impart all her wisdom about her charge.  Its learning to juggle sick kids and all the other things that the day throws at me without giving up and crying…. Too often.  It’s my kids learning to help one another out when there are two of them sick and only one of me to be the nurse.  The ones who aren’t sick (yet!?) learn to step up and help with newspapers or make the meal or empty the dishwasher.  They have learned a lot this week.  They’ve practiced skills we’ve been honing for years. 

So even if I had done the best of planning for this new school year, I would not have been able to plan these lessons.  I would have avoided them.  But learning to work together in these small adversities has been a greater lesson for these first few days than if we had got all the language arts and math lessons going. – Though I am hoping that tomorrow will be the day to tackle those lessons, finally!

A word of wisdom that my pastor imparted a few weeks ago has been rolling around in my head: Courage, true, biblical courage, is never cultivated in comfort.

Mamas (and Papas and others): know that your struggles are not in vain. You are building a lasting legacy so be strong and courageous! Wishing you all the best today as you build. ;) And for many days after.

Peace,

Cori

www.mapletreepublications.ca
cori@mapletreepublications.ca

Drinking in the Season

I often struggle with prioritizing.  Sometimes I feel like there are so many things to do that I don’t know there to start.  It feels like I am trying to drink out of a fire hose.  But then, if I can draw some perspective and think through what exactly is worth doing, what needs to be done, what is important, I can often lessen the overwhelming flow.

How much more intense is this torrent during this season?  Thoughts of Christ in Christmas are hard to come by if I don’t initiate them myself.  They aren’t in the stores, the teachers aren’t allowed to mention them, the marketers would rather write fairy tales of gifts that bring happiness on Christmas morning.

So how do you keep your eye on the prize?  How do you remember that Jesus is the reason for the season?  How do your drink in the sweet grace of our encounter with the divine in the vulnerable form of a baby?

I would love to hear about how you and your family enjoy a Christ-centred Christmas in your home.  Please comment on the blog and share your ideas with all of us!

Here are a few ideas that we have tried or heard of:

1)      Make sure that your gift giving includes gifts for Jesus.  We started a family tradition of celebrating Jesus’ birthday the way we would other family and friends: cake and gifts for the birthday boy!  When we blow out the candles we one by one give him a gift of words of praise and then we choose gifts out of a Samaritan’s Purse or Gospel for Asia or other Christian charitable catalogue.

2)      Give gifts that emphasize the thought rather than the price tag.  A woman I spoke to recently said that in their family they draw names and each get a gift of a used book for the person they drew.  They have so much fun finding out what the person might like, discussing their literary tastes and hunting down the special treat.  A thoughtful and inexpensive way to love on your family.

3)      Before accepting invitations to gatherings, events and parties, decide who you most want to spend time with over the holidays and how often you want to go out and make sure that you protect your schedule from events that won’t fit these priorities.  With several birthdays in our extended family at this time of year, we find that often we have to choose to only accept invitations from family in December and plan to visit others in the New Year.

4)      Give gifts that are a double blessing.  Get a gift that will not only make a loved one smile but will also bless a needy person through a charity or will bless a local small business person who is trying to provide for their family (rather than a large corporation that is trying to pad their bottom line).  This year many of our gifts are home made by local artisans, by our family or are supporting charitable endeavours that are close to our hearts.

5)      Do less, enjoy God’s people more.  I have come to realize that the only way that we will have the house decorated, the children educated, the cookies baked, the cards sent, the house clean, and the packages wrapped is if the whole family is intensely involved.  When the kids were younger, this was next to impossible and even now, there is so much that we can’t accomplish in pursuing all of these traditions.  So ask yourself, can we do without baking? Can we send our love in a simpler way than having to mail Christmas cards?  Can our gifts consist of gifts of time to visit rather than rushes to the store with an overtired credit card?

As you prepare your hearts and homes for the celebration of the coming of Christ this season, I wish for you the opportunity to drink in the sweetness of the moments and really savour our Saviour.

Blessings,

Cori

www.mapletreepublications.ca

Monday Morning...

It was one of those mornings here.  I was frustrated, feeling inadequate.  I set my alarm early to get the best start: to read my Bible and do a bit of planning and maybe even do a bit of exercise before the masses required my involvement.  Suddenly though it was 9am, breakfast was still in the works, the kitchen a mess and the dining room table strewn with bits of oatmeal, a dry half of a sticky bagel and several school books, including my lesson planner!  Who got into that?  Well, my diligent older students had looked through the planner and were asking for work that I hadn’t prepared yet.  My younger more playful kids were trying to figure out how to sneak out into the new snow before they had to attack their work without me noticing. 

Do you ever feel like there’s so much to do that you don’t know where to start?  That was my morning.  In fact, I often feel that way. 

Then a sweet friend texted.  She reminded me to pace myself, that I wasn’t expected to get it all done before noon on Monday.  I don’t expect that of the kids; I don’t expect it of anyone else.  Why would I expect it of me?  In fact, I get over excited about all that I want to get done so often and with so much more than just school assignments.  I wish I had blogged more, I want to fix so many things on my website, I want my storage room to be at least passable, if not somewhat tidy.  I have so many ideas about how I could better serve the Awana programme which I run at our church. Sigh.

But then, I remember that there are 25 hours in a day on Mars.  If God wanted us to fit more into a day he would have made us Martians. 

I am reminded that there are a few things that I do need to do a better job at fitting into my overcrowded schedule.  I need to take the time to prioritize, to play, to pray. 

God, in his infinite wisdom, ordained 24 hours for each day that I am alive.  He wants me to spend those 24 wisely each day, to prioritize.  I need to respect that limitation that He has placed on me and make sure that I am a good steward of that gift of time that I have been given.  When I think of it that way, I realize that I have often misspent my time.  Have I spent it on useless things, or on things that have eternal value?  On running myself to exhaustion or on taking care of own body, getting the rest, rejuvenation, and nourishment that I need to be able to care for my family and others?  On connecting to Him and His life-giving Word or on things that might be very good but aren’t necessarily the right things for me to pursue right now?

It’s often hard for me to stop and play.  I know that I tend to be driven.  I know that it is a common personality trait for us homeschooling moms.  I get up in the morning with a long to do list and am not good at taking the time to stop and take in a new card trick or piano tune that one of my young performers wants to share.  Why do I sigh and reluctantly sit for a game of Skipbo when the world isn’t going to end if the chores get put off a bit longer?  If I put my time into perspective and start to pursue God’s priorities, I know that relationships are far more important that lessons checked off on a planner or chores completed to perfection.  The moments that impact my family are the ones that draw us together, and play time is a key part of that. 

Finally, I need to pray more.  I need to pray in the moment; I need to pray in private; I need to pray when I am perplexed or happy or upset.  I need to take the time to quiet my heart so that I can wait on the Lord and learn His priorities so that I can pursue what He wants me to run after and have confidence in cutting out so many of the busying activities that only serve to pull me away from what I should be doing. 

Friends, as we embark on another day, I wish you moments to play and to pray and the wisdom to seek His priorities for your days.  I wish you peace that transcends the usual Monday morning rush.

Peace and blessings,

Cori

www.mapletreepublications.ca

Ripples

Hello All,

It’s been a while since I got to spend some time in my virtual home here Under the Maple Tree.  I have been rather absent this season, just like at this time last year, because I have been out in the real world more often seeing so many of your encouraging faces at homeschooling conferences and other events.  It was such a busy time as I worked and spoke at more conferences than ever this year and had the opportunity to travel across the country to meet even more amazing parents who are walking this crazy homeschooling road with me.  What a treat it has been.

Throughout this season, one small lesson has resonated with me.  Perhaps it is because it takes so many repetitions to get through to such a thick head as mine or maybe it is just something that the Lord wanted me to learn.  I think it’s a bit of both. 

On our first family weekend camping trip of the year the weather was beautifully warm though the water at the beach was still quite chilly.  The kids played the days away in the water while I just tiptoed in and out around the edges of the water when I got overheated, the water rippling around my shivering knees.  It was a peaceful reprieve, watching the water moving out in tiny waves from the places where my toes displaced it.

You see, midway through the season, conference season (which used to be called spring in my world), my precious Nana died.  It was sad.  It was hard.  But at the same time, we were relieved for her, hoping that she had finally found peace after a very long battle with Altzheimer’s disease.  She had long since left us and it was only her body left that finally gave up.  It was, of course a time of tears and of memories and of telling stories of old.  I, being the talker in the family, again got to share a eulogy for a grandparent.  I remembered her in her big moo-moo dresses, rubber boots, winter coat, slacks and straw hat in her garden growing more food than the whole family could eat.  I remembered family celebrations with KFC, kielbasa and cabbage rolls because my uncle didn’t like turkey.  After the funeral, when we came home that day it seemed the most fitting tribute to eat KFC and spend the rest of the day in the garden.  Ripples.  Her life cascading into my own.  

 

Most recently we have cried many hours with friends as they have suffered loss, the results of many years of ripples rocking their boat, influencing them in ways that they weren’t aware of until they capsized. 

Ripples.  They have become a focal point even in the smaller events, seeing how our decisions affect our children’s decisions, their demeanor, their values.  I’ve also noticed that so often we are affected by what is rippling out from someone else’s life, their ideas, their actions.  So often I want to think that homeschooling my kids will allow them to come only under my influence but that is so often proven wrong, and often to their benefit.  I don’t always make the right decisions, say the right things.

The lessons I have been learning this spring are of how powerfully we are influenced and how we also influence others in ways that we may not even imagine in this lifetime.  It makes me afraid to dive into my roles, scared that I may unknowingly be the source of someone else’s undoing.  I think, too, how often I suppose to speak with authority about something and really I am just flapping my gums, sharing an opinion that may or may not be founded. 

As we formally wrap up another year of schooling I, as usual, am taking some time to look back and see where we have come from.  I see that we have learned a lot, but have we learned the right things?  I also look forward and anticipate.  I know that the unknown future holds many waves that will rock my boat, waves that will ripple out and threaten the sunny happy days that I desire for my kids to live under.  But rather than praying for a smooth ride, I am praying for a strong boat, for a firm foundation, and for waves that will propel them towards their Saviour rather than sink them in a mire of uncertainty. 

Wishing you, Dear Friends, strength and perseverance as you ride out the waves that shake you in this season.

Blessings,

Cori

www.mapletreepublications.ca

Christmas Blessings

Dear Friends,

I have finally dusted off my laptop to send you a few words of greeting over these beautiful holidays.  First I want to send my wishes that you have had a spectacular Christmas with friends and family and to wish your New Year will be filled with God’s richest blessings.

I have to admit that I have been feeling a bit sorry for myself lately.  We are finally starting to see the end of a horrible bout of cold and flu that has been with us for more than three weeks.  I have been stuck in the past wishing for a White Christmas and a repeat of the idyllic holidays of many years gone by but these days Christmas has been a visit to his mom’s and then my mom’s and then my dad’s and … well you get it.  This year, it’s been a few of us visiting with one pocket of loved ones or another hoping tentatively for peace and having to leave one or more sickies at home. 

This holiday has taken an extra striving to recall the point of it all.  It is so easy to lose the sound of the still small voice of the baby in the manger.  But we have found our Christmas in the moments.  Friends, I hope you have found your moments as well. 

We loved the moments of our advent readings even if, yes, we didn’t finish them all.  I was touched by my husband’s reflections and patience when I was too stressed with lists and cards and bills to see through to the Jesus who had made it all so special.

I enjoyed discussions with my daughters about the gifts that they had for Jesus.  So neat to walk my seven year old through why Jesus didn’t take the beautiful card that she made for Him and set under the tree.  “Where does Jesus live daughter?”  “In heaven.”  “Where else?”  “With us, here in our house, in my heart.”  “So, he kept his precious gift here where he lives.  No?”  We discussed how he says that when we do for others we are doing for Him.  We discussed the gifts that we gave especially to Him when we gave to others.

Another special moment with Jesus was in a new tradition that we started last year: a cake, candles, and “Happy Birthday” to Jesus.  My oldest daughter loves to bake and makes wonderful cakes.  This year she really wanted Jesus to have a cookie monster birthday cake.  We put six candles in and after singing to Him we each blew out a candle and gave him a birthday gift of words, “Thank you Jesus for giving me my family!”  “Thank you Jesus for taking care of us.”  “I am so glad, Jesus, that you are so much smarter than I am.”  Last year we chose out gifts for Jesus on Christmas day from the Samaritan’s Purse catalogue, each giving of their own money.  This year, we pooled our resources and were able to give to Jesus in another fun and creative way.  What a treat!

Still wrapped in the busyness even last night (since you can’t finish Christmas cards when everyone is sick for three weeks in December and we are finally starting to catch up on some of those visits that we cancelled) I received another sweet gift from my Saviour: a note from a friend.  It is such a blessing to have friends who are there at just the right moments.  So neat to see that Jesus is there to bless me in so many ways: through little thoughtful notes, and through the huge sacrificial gift of coming as a vulnerable boy to be my Saviour from all that I deserve.  It’s so hard to comprehend.  Perhaps that is why I can only handle it in small moments.

Friends, I hope that you have had that idyllic time of Christmas wonder and enjoyed this amazing time of reverence for our Jesus but if you have been, like me, seeking at least the little moments, may this magical time between Christmas and New Years be a time of you to rest in Him and to know His peace in a new way.

Happy New Year, Friends!

Cori

www.mapletreepublications.ca

Perspective

So many of you have asked about our daughter that I realize that it is time to update you. 

Just reading over my musings of a year ago, I realize how I still get so relentlessly caught up in the mundane and overwhelmed by things that are so transient.  (This week, in addition to life’s everyday blunders and the usual financial frustrations, we have been dealing with BOTH fleas and lice in the Dean household.  When will “normal” arrive, please, Lord?!)

I have been feeling sorry for myself, wishing someone would step up to this plate that I have been given and run the race for me for a little while.  My husband and I have spent the week going to bed sore and exhausted, hoping for relief the next day but finding a new set of challenges with each morning: the dog gets out of the yard AGAIN, a computer crashes and people treat us like we are carrying the plague.  I think that it is the stress of it all that made us turn our backs on the fact that that nasty cold was creeping into the house as well.  Par for the course. 

Yesterday, in the midst of it all, we were brought back to the basics.  (We will conquer the fleas and the lice.  I’ve never dealt with fleas before but have with lice, it’s a lot of work but we know how to overcome it.  The colds will move on, eventually the bills will be paid and our friends won’t be afraid to see us.)  On the other hand, there we were on the floor of the little girls’ bedroom dealing with a tantrum, not the everyday grumpiness that you occasionally encounter but a full out kicking and screaming 3 year old.  And then she went pale, her eyes rolled back and the screaming eased.  My baby nearly fainted.  Now to most this would be happy justice for a kid that had cried it out.  For us fainting can be life threatening.

Suddenly lice, fleas, colds, and harsh words from friends didn’t seem so important.  Surviving the moment was all that we had. 

Now, as soon as the spell overcame her, she started to recover.  She certainly had lost the wind in her sails but she came back to us.  The normal procedure for days like this with a girl with a heart condition like ours has been to see the doctor immediately (get to the ER!) which has resulted in one weekend stay at the hospital so far.  The thing is that our most recent visits to our local paediatric cardiologist and to Sick Kids confirmed that our prayers are working, her heart is holding out and is more stable than they had originally anticipated.  Praise the Lord!  That being the case, we are now told that the pacemaker won’t be inserted into her heart until they see some quantifiable difference in the testing that they do or until this “starts to affect her quality of life”, meaning until dizziness leads to actual fainting.  We do hope to see our doctor this week but for now are closely monitoring her and seeking your prayers.

All of this has brought back some much needed perspective: God is in control.

            “I am the LORD, and there is no other;

            apart from me there is no God.
            I will strengthen you,
            though you have not acknowledged me,
            so that from the rising of the sun
            to the place of its setting
            men may know that there is none besides me.
            I am the LORD, and there is no other.
            I form the light and create darkness,
            I bring prosperity and create disaster;
            I, the LORD, do all these things.” – Isaiah 45:5-7

He allows us to go through the things that he does because He trusts that we will come out on the other side closer to Him and more able to be all that He wants us to be.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” – James 1:2-4

Friends, my family and I have so appreciated your kind words, your prayers and your inquiries about our daughter that show that you care.  They have made such a difference to us.  Please do continue to keep her in your thoughts and prayers as we journey along this crazy road.  It has made a difference as she had gone a full year now without need for pacemaker surgery and we hope that she will be able to go longer and grow more in order to better be ready for the hardware that is best suited to her needs.

Thanks,

Cori

Maple Tree Publications

www.mapletreepublications.ca 

Highs and Lows

Well Friends, our school year has started with the usual highs and lows: our first day of school was bliss.  We usually plan a field trip for the first day to celebrate that we are doing this school thing just a little bit differently.  This year however we planned a field trip on the second day and since it just seemed so weird to just get down to work without fanfare on that first day after Labour Day, after we had done a minimal amount of work, we skipped off to the park.

We invited some friends at the last minute who were, like us, reluctant to get back to “normal” and we enjoyed a horribly rainy day which turned out perfectly.  The day was so warm that those silly kids just ran and played in the rain for most of the time but we also set ourselves up in a pavilion, started a roaring fire in the fireplace, and roasted spider dogs and s’mores.  A game of Dutch Blitz that even the mom’s got a round at and Twister for the kids, a bit of a nature walk and some identification and collection of edible wild plants.  How could anything top that?  It was at that moment that my heart was full, and I was so pleased to have had the wisdom to follow this road less travelled.

Then came day two, the day that was supposed to be our fantastic fall kick off.  We were so excited to have reserved tickets for the Creation Ministries International Home School Open House.  We’d always heard great things and were so excited to attend.  The kids were going to see the “mad science” show and Mama was looking forward to hearing Calvin Smith talk.  The displays and the shopping and the freebies…  Yummy.  It would be great.

But…

A one and a half hour drive became a three and a half hour drive.  The roads were jammed, highways closed and the stopping and starting proved to be too much for daughter number three who threw up in the car.  (Who knew that a child could develop car sickness when they hadn’t been proned to it in the past number of years?  But this one has been challenged by long drives of late.  Sigh.)  A stop to clean up and find Gravol and a bit of water and we were delayed again.  To make matters worse this Mama has become a white knuckled driver over the years and so the stress of the traffic jams and car sickness pushed me right to my limits until I was so ragged that I finally walked in the door of the CMI warehouse and broke down and cried. 

Oh, how I wish I could turn off my emotions in public!  But there I was crying through the last half of the mad science presentation.  So disappointed, I was wondering what had made me think that I was up to the task of even driving my kids to a field trip let alone guiding them on the paths of higher learning on a day to day basis.

Yikes.  So how do I reconcile this as the journey back to that elusive “normal” that we had been missing since the summer came and chased the routine away?  Do I really want normal?  Will I ever survive the swings in my own pendulum as I hope for educational bliss and end up with car sick kids and missed field trips…

Well, those CMI folks were gracious enough to let us stay for the second session of the Open House and so after some time to collect ourselves at a local park we did our “do over” and enjoyed it much more.  Then another long but much less taxing drive homewards with stops along the way and finally we were able to crawl into our very inviting beds.

How am I going to survive 36 weeks of this!? 

Well, the days since our exhausting first days of school have been much more peaceful and I am happy to say that we are thoroughly enjoying the changes that this year’s study plan have allowed.  Lots of reading time on the couch, more trips to the park, school is starting to shape into a very enjoyable routine.  And we are all learning a lot already.

I have learned that though I had considered myself a fairly contented person I am still so easily swayed by circumstances.  The kids are learning to be patient and forgiving with their all too impatient mother.  I guess I know what will fill all of those lessons in the next 34 and a half weeks and it won’t just be the war of 1812, fishes and proper uses of punctuation.

How have your first days of school gone, Friends?  I hope that your living and learning journeys have been sweet so far.  I’m looking forward to chatting with you again through the year and sharing some of the goings on at our little place here Under the Maple Tree.  Wishing you warm and enjoyable days as we trickle in to the autumn.

Talk soon,

Cori

P.S. – I will post again soon about some of the events here in our little corner of the world.  Notably, our first Charlotte Mason Support Group meeting will be next week.  Do you want to read along with us again this year?  We will be reading Ruth Beechick’s A Biblical Home Education.  Let me know if you need a copy.  They are normally $16 but I am sharing them for $14 (tax included) so that you can save a penny or two while you join us.

This isn't my full-time job...

I told that to a dad that I spoke to at a homeschool meeting that I had the honour to be the guest speaker at this week.  He was asking, the way that dads do, about the business of speaking at conferences and meetings and selling books.  What’s my website like?  How do I market the books that I write and publish?  What is my target audience?  Etc.

The thing is: I love my job.  I love to write.  I love to pour over scripture and find a nugget of truth that I can apply practically to my little world “under the maple tree”.  I love chatting with all of you on the phone, in person at meetings and conferences, and virtually here on line.  I even like balancing the books and working through all of the tedium of invoicing and such (maybe that’s because there really isn’t too much of it.)  J  I’m starting to like packaging up books as I imagine that I am building little fortresses for these little treasures as I send them out to do battle with the postal system.  (It’s like a game of Tetris to create just the right package so that the books don’t slide around or get dinged and my sweet customers don’t have to feel the heavy burden of expensive packaging and inflated shipping prices.)

But this isn’t my full time job.  I told that to this dad that I was chatting with.  “After all, this isn’t my full-time job.  I already have a full-time job.”  His eyes bulged.  “You have another job?!”  “Of course I do!  I am a wife and mom that home educates her kids.  It doesn’t pay well but it’s a full time job.”  And really, it’s a lie to say that it doesn’t pay well.  The truth of the matter is that it doesn’t pay the same as another professional teacher might make but it is a job none the less that I do take quite seriously.

Of course, being a homeschooling dad, he knew.  He nodded.  It’s true.  My priority should be my full time job.  After all, while I could invest 40 hours a week (or more!) into Maple Tree, which I would really love, I would quickly lose track of my first career choice, my first work priority.  So while I do hope to see myself working at this job full time by the time my last little cherub graduates from her homeschooling experience, more than that I look forward to the pay off then, when, God willing, we can enjoy a strong family relationship built over many years of living this crazy life together and can see our young women out in the world living the lives that God created them to live. 

I know a lot of you mamas are in this same boat, living the daily insanity of full time wife and mama and teacher.  (And that teacher job on top of the others is a really real job!)  Many of you are working away at your own home businesses, at jobs away from the home or even at other jobs that are just as taxing but also don’t pay in dollars and cents.  I have talked to you homeschoolers who are bus drivers, full time professional nurses, Usborne consultants, dance teachers and volunteer ministry coordinators.  Kudos to you! 

Remember to give yourself the credit of time and energy to make your first jobs first and the others to fall into line behind.  I wish for you the peace of heart to be able to prioritize first that which you feel is the right thing to do for your family (whether that is homeschooling or not) and let the money worry about itself.  I know that many of us add a small business or part or full time job on as punctuation to an already busy schedule to help make ends meet but may I encourage you to trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path. (Proverbs 3:4,5)  Remember that he has said that he will provide all of your needs. (Philippians 4:19)  Do what you know to be right for your family and let the money follow, not lead you.

I have to daily do this, as I think that I have missed writing deadlines, haven’t blogged in a month or haven’t balanced the books for a couple of conferences.  Yikes!  Thank you all for your grace as I have been absent from my little soap box under the maple tree.  I will pop in and out, as I can, when the reading and math lessons get done and when we aren’t chasing our crazy dog through the woods, since I miss my time here with you.

Blessings in your busy days, Friends!

Cori

I Yelled at the Dog Today

I didn't just yell, I stomped and raved and shouted about how I hated her.  I didn't just scream at her in the privacy of my home (I've never been good at hiding my emotions), I took her to the park with my kids and their friends and my ever so graceful friend.  (How did you have so much grace for today Sarah?)  And the rest of my day was defined by my loosing my temper with my dog. 

Why is it that I thought it reasonable to scream at my dog for her horrible behaviour.  I never would have screamed, "I hate you" at my kids or my husband!  How is it that I reverted to the form of a two year old having a tantrum on the floor at the goading of a great big doesn't-know-any-better-yet puppy?

Perhaps much of this is not just because of one dumb puppy's behaviour but becasue of my own.  Staying up late at night to prepare to speak at several upcoming homeschool conferences and homeschool meetings has left me exhausted as the culmination of my work is played out in my preparation for the first conference coming up this weekend.  Sigh, have I played the fraud, pretending to be the homeschooler who can lead other homeschoolers into educational bliss?  

My consolation is this: homeschooling isn’t for perfect parents.

I have to constantly remind myself that we decided to homeschool because we thought it was the best thing for our family not because we came to some sort of realization that we were perfect parents and teachers.

I think that my only success in homeschooling is knowing that I am forgiven.  That is really the only way to hold my head up in light of all my failings.  To know that my redemption is in the sacrifice of Christ makes it easier to hold my children accountable, even as I fail.  How often do I ask them to do as I say and not as I do, since essentially we are all learning to walk in the likeness of Christ day by day and side by side.

And, I guess my learning today should include finding the wisdom to head to bead earlier so that my family, my friends, and even my dog don't have to feel the wrath of Mama again tomorrow.

Good night, All!

Cori  

Counting Our Blessings...

Dear Friends, 

I wouldn't normally forward you a letter that I had already sent to a friend privately but I hope she will excuse me as I thought it the best way to share my heart and our circumstances with you...

Crazy days! Our recent days have been dominated by a weekend in the hospital for our youngest daughter (and I - Cori). She was experiencing chest pains (and still is a bit) but was otherwise healthy and happy which made it much more bearable. We realized on Friday morning that her complaints were consistently about pain in her chest. Before that we'd thought that we were responding to the usual bout of two year old nicks and scrapes. So, (on Friday morning) I called her paediatric cardiologist and asked for advice. He advised seeing our family doctor who wasn't available. We knew that, regardless of where we went, saying to any doctor, apart from him, that our two year old with a heart condition was having chest pain would get us sent to the ER. So we went to the ER and were soon admitted. They decided to do 48 hours of monitoring. Really they didn't have the right equipment needed to monitor her specific condition or someone with expertise on her needs. So it was a lot of calling Sick Kids in Toronto for advice and such. In short, our little girl's heart rate is irregular and low which they said was not critical right now but is consistent with someone with her condition.

They released us today and we were home early after noon with the plan to get to see her paediatric cardiologist tomorrow (please pray this will happen) so that he can properly monitor her and can compare her condition now to his previous notes on her. He is a good Christian man but rather tight lipped with information and obviously very busy so hard to get a hold of. (We are really hoping and praying that he will monitor her now rather than in six weeks when he is supposed to see her next.)

So, again we covet your prayers for our girl.

Otherwise, we are in good spirits, not wanting to compare ourselves but having seen so many kids recently in much worse shape. I've been inspired by a family who's daughter has been a the brink of death since before Christmas and the way that they praise God daily in their Facebook updates.

Our children are God's and not our own and as such he doesn't owe us another day with them but trusts us with their upbringing. Amazing, eh? In addition to that it was just so nice to have time to just spoil my girlie and to cuddle her lots and to play only with her, not something we do often. As well, we have just been so blessed by friends and family and neighbours who took the kids, shoveled the drive, fed us, walked the dog, delivered the newspapers, brought tea for us and activity pages for the princess when she wasn't allowed to move. Amazed by God's provision in only 48 hours.

So anyway, we request your prayers for the days ahead and will keep you posted. Pray that we will be able to ride this storm with strength (physical, emotional and spiritual) and faith.

"You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light." Psalm 18:28

Many blessings,

Cori and the rest of the Dean Clan

Busy Days

You know some days I think that I have some sort of mommy superpower.  That happened just yesterday.  I kept all of the juggling balls in the air without flinching.  At one point I was loading a computer programme onto the computer, while cleaning pee off the floor (yes, the toddler is still struggling with this concept) and giving spelling dictation all while discussing the concept of reducing fractions with my oldest student.  I could see my cape fluttering in the breeze behind me though it did of course have little baby boogies on the shoulder and a tear that will wait for years to be mended.  It fit though.  Yesterday.

Today was a different mess all together.  I found myself wondering what my little cherubs must be destroying in the basement when they should have been listening to good books on the couch.  The reason why they were on their own covert operations: I was sequestered in my room trying to make my own clandestine moves and schedule a dentist appointment that one daughter in particular is terrified to deal with.  Because I didn’t want her to hear what atrocities I was planning for her, something that looked like a nuclear bomb was in the midst of going off in the basement.

It occurred to me then that not only are days like this not ideal school days but they are so counter productive.  In those 10 minutes yesterday when I was supermom, in tights (that of course didn’t accentuate the curves that were out of place) and a cape, we probably got about an hour and a half’s worth of work done as everyone industriously multitasked, all working in coordination, all doing their part and contributing to the family unit as a whole and to health and well being of us all.  Five people, each working away for a good fifteen minutes, and all was bliss. 

Then today – not only did they not get the science fair project worked on nor the chapter of Robin Hood read to them nor the last story told in the book on New France, but, in the time that they should have, I also didn’t make any lunch and someone made a huge mess in the basement.  Yesterday, 10 minutes got 90 minutes of work tucked away and today 10 minutes charted out enough work to do for the rest of the day – now there is a mess to clean, assignments that aren’t done, and the usual gamut of tidyings and helpings out that had been neglected.  Oh yeah, and all that after the squabbling pair has to take the time to expresses their love for one another and their horrible regret at what was said and done while Mamma was on the phone.

Sigh, some days are better than others, aren’t they?  I really do love my job – partly because of days like this.  It is good to be learning right along side of my girlies like this.  They are a forgiving group.  Tomorrow, I hope for a better day.  Knowing that God is good is good enough.  All the rest will work itself out in the wash (even if I am eight loads behind.)

May the Lord bless you with Peace, dear Friends, as you seek quite moments in your busy days.

Cori